Ride or Cry Chick

What do you say
to your half white friend
who is full white girl wasted
in the backseat of a Lyft
talking out of her ass
about your ass
and how it is brown, specifically
and how your nipples are also brown
this she knows from the flash and streak
borne from private moments of exhilarating joy
between you two
but here
and now
she leaves your body on public display
in the dark of this car
in the presence of a stranger
pretending not to listen
who is also a woman of color
but still.
Still is your tongue
and your body
the body she stripped naked
with her words
stripping you naked
in everyone’s mind
if only for a split second
and you wonder if
the shame and hurt and betrayal you feel rushing through you
make sense
whether it is directed at her or directed at yourself through her
and are you supposed to forgive her or yourself
because alcohol is an excuse that goes down smooth
 and does the absence of a compliment
truly signal the presence of an insult?
Your uncertainty eclipses the opportunity
 to let anger and accountability spill
the moment is glossed over
by the ensuing string of nonsense
gushing from a mouth
smeared in hot pink.
When the night is over
you confide to your other half white friend
who rolls her eyes when you say you felt Othered
who says, “she didn’t mean it like that”
and you think about how often
people who fuck up
never mean it like that
but trust me when I say I mean it like this:
fuck you and fuck anyone else
who thinks it’s okay to bare my fucking body like that
without my consent.

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