My eyebrows
will never be on fleek
My words are sharper
than they are soft
I think I don’t take care of myself
because I’m slowly trying to kill myself
I am so often
falling over the edge
I can’t remember
what I did
or what you said
five minutes ago
I have piles of stones
sitting in my heart
to cast at anyone
who steps too close
I am so fixated on
figuring myself out
you might not notice
the self-loathing slipping out
I pretend to be thick-skinned
even as one offhand comment
can leave me shaken for days
I will write so many lines
and so many pages
about how I am unraveling
just so I can tell you
in person that I am OK
I cry and rage
as hard as I joke and laugh
Do not talk to me about the future
when I’m so caught up in the past
So if you can’t fucking handle me at my worst
you are not alone

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