Skinny Love

I take pills to medicate my skin
so I can look in the mirror
and not hate myself
I slap on makeup
as a survival strategy
because pretty
is its own form
of currency
I let boys desire me
and I laugh
because what they really desire
is a girl who takes up
the bare minimum of space
boys love my body
no, they love my dysfunction
no, they love my disrepair
no, they love my despair
they’re in love
with a body
that doesn’t eat well
that doesn’t eat enough
that just doesn’t
in all the wrong ways
a body that is starving
for attention and care
boys want to touch me
and when their hands slip
underneath my clothes
they don’t know
or maybe
they don’t care
that what they’re feeling
is a product
of privilege.
of hunger.
grief.
recklessness.
and slow
decay

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